386 Reach Your Goals with Less Anxiety and Effort – Ursula Mentjes

What you will hear in our discussion with Ursula Mentjes:

  • Reach Your Goals with Less Anxiety and Effort
  • How to Know Your Next Big Goal
  • When Facing Major Decisions
  • Are You Limiting Your Own Success
  • Navigate Major Change and Succeed

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More about our featured guest Ursula Mentjes

Two-time Bestselling Author, Award winning Entrepreneur and Sales Expert– Ursula Mentjes–will transform the way you think about selling so you can reach your goals with less anxiety and less effort!

The Founder of Sales Coach Now as well as an inspirational speaker, author of Selling with Intention, Selling with Synchronicity and One Great Goal– Ursula specializes in Neuro-Linguistic Programming to help clients double and triple their sales in as little as 30 days.

Honing her skills at an international technical training company, where she began her career in 1996, Ursula increased sales by 90% in just one year!

In 2001, when the company’s annual run was in the tens of millions, Ursula advanced to the position of President at just 27 years old. Sales guru Brian Tracy endorsed her best-selling and award winning book Selling with Intention saying, “This powerful, practical book shows you how to connect with customers by fully understanding the sales process from the inside out. It really works!” 

Books

Full Transcript

[00:00] Joel: Joining us on the show is two-time best-selling author and founder of Sales Coach Now, Ursula Mentjes is on the show today. Ursula welcome, welcome.

[00:13] Ursula Mentjes: Thank you Joel. I'm so excited to be here. Excited to be on this show, this ReLaunch show, so I can't wait to get started.

[00:21] Joel: This is gonna be so much fun. Now you've been gracious enough to be with me on other shows that we've done in the past, and you actually had me on your show I don't know it was about a year or so ago. But gosh it might've even been longer than that, has it been…

[00:37] Ursula Mentjes: It's longer than that, yeah.

[00:38] Joel: Has it been since before your son was born that we spoke last?

[00:43] Ursula Mentjes: It had to have been, yeah, so I would say two and a half, three years ago. I know, time warp right?

[00:46] Joel: Oh my goodness. Yeah, time goes by quick.

[00:51] Ursula Mentjes: I've heard amazing things.

[00:53] Joel: Oh well, thank you, I appreciate that, and we're just having a blast with our show and some of the things that we're doing. And Ursula, this show it's highly practical because it is all about the relaunch, and specifically how you did it. And while we've all experienced numerous launches and relaunches throughout our lives, I generally ask our guests to zero in on the relaunch that has been the most significant or the most transformational for them and then we unfold the story from there. And we'll do that with you here in just a few minutes if that's okay, but first I'd like to start off the show with a quick piece of take away gold. And you have three page-turner books out right now, you have “One Great Goal”, you have “Selling with Synchronicity,” and then you have your latest, “Selling With Intention.” And talking about the first book that I mentioned, “One Great Goal,” and this will be a short answer if you don't mind and then we'll get into kinda the relaunch story. But I think a lot of us fool ourselves and sometimes with the best of intentions, setting multiple goals for multiple areas of our lives. And as well-meaning as that might be, I think since we all have limited time, limited bandwidth, and limited resources, setting multiple goals can be an exhausting process.

[02:12] Pei: Indeed.

[02:15] Joel: So real quick before we get into the relaunch story, and I know you've got a great one lined up for us, can you give us some solid, practical ideas? Or at least one idea, take it from “One Great Goal,” that we can use today?

[02:31] Ursula Mentjes: Yeah, absolutely. And thank you for talking about “One Great Goal,” I think it's… This is the perfect time of year to be thinking, “What's next for me?” And you're right, we try to set too many goals at the same time, and we get frustrated and we get confused, and so the power of “One Great Goal” is all about, clearly, one, and focusing on one. And yet people will argue with me, they'll be like, “But I have so many goals.” But let me tell you something, there's magic in figuring out your one great goal. So I'm gonna give you the secret sauce right now…

[02:58] Pei: Please do.

[03:00] Joel: Do it.

[03:01] Pei: Honestly at this point in our lives, Joel and I, we have so many opportunities. And it's good to have opportunities and choices, but we are actually, at this stage of our lives, needing what you are about to share. So…

[03:17] Joel: Don't make it so obvious that I'm getting free coaching.

[laughter]

[03:21] Joel: Could you not please?

[03:22] Ursula Mentjes: Let's do it. Let's do it. Right, that's why we have radio shows, we get to learn a lot. So here's the secret. The key is, and this is something you can do… For those of you that are listening, you can start the process right now, but you'll finish it later… You write down your top 10 goals.

[03:37] Joel: Okay.

[03:37] Ursula Mentjes: And for most of us, it's our business goals. And I would separate this process, your business goals, separate them from your personal goals so it's not confusing. So start with your business goals. You have a lot right now, but write down your top 10. And then you're gonna take yourself through a process to figure out what your one great goal is. And I give it to you right now, the simple way to do this is through a process of elimination. But the process of elimination is backwards. So what you do is you let go of five goals, so you cross five off. You don't have to cross the whole thing off, but just cross the little checkbox in front of them, leaving your top five, like the five you really want. And then look at those five, release one more. Look at the four, release one more. Look at the three, release one more, leaving your top two. What you'll find in your top two is gold, and here's the gold: It might be that your top two are actually one, and you put them together they're the same thing, and that's your one great goal. Or you might need to release one more and figure out what your number one goal is, we'll call that your one great goal.

[04:36] Ursula Mentjes: And here's the secret, I'm gonna give it to you and then you can go through the process. Once you get your one great goal, and you focus on that, the secret is that once you achieve your one great goal, all the rest of the goals on your list will also be achieved. And you will learn a lot about what you really want by going through this process. I'm telling you, the discovery at the end usually it blows people's minds, they're like, “Oh my gosh.” And then they realize, “Yes, if I focus on that one, everything else will come to fruition as well.” So then you're not swimming around with all these goals in your head wondering which one to do next, where to focus. Focus on your one. I have a client by the way, she has finished 30 one great goals in the last I'd say six months, 30 one great goals…

[05:13] Joel: Who's this?

[05:14] Ursula Mentjes: Just by focusing on one at a time. One of my clients. Just by focusing on one at a time, and now she buys “One Great Goal” by the truckload and gives them to her clients, because she believes in this process. I just gave it to you, you don't even have to go buy the book, you can just go do this. Because I want people to do it and have clarity.

[05:27] Joel: Pei?

[05:28] Pei: Absolutely, we'll share the link in the show note for this particular show. And I highly encourage you, all of our listeners right now, as it approaches the end of the year, to launch 2016 really strong, we actually ought to start in 2015. And it's perfect timing, next week Joel and I are gonna be on the podcasters' cruise, so we ought to set up our goal, and when we're ready we're gonna actually share with our listeners, right?

[06:02] Joel: So Ursula, pray for us because we'll be on cruise next week for seven days. Can you believe it? Seven days we'll be away.

[06:10] Ursula Mentjes: I love it. Good for you guys. It's so important to get away and just enjoy. Fantastic.

[06:16] Joel: Well, we're… Yeah, the best… Our favorite way to vacation is cruising, so we jumped at this opportunity, too when we're invited to attend the, “Podcasters' Paradise Cruise,” and I think there's gonna be 75 other crazy podcasters on the… On board with us, so we're gonna have a lot of fun. And of course, because I'm a podcaster, I've got to take my recording equipment, and plenty of memory card space to grab some interviews while I'm there. Okay, so “One Great Goal,” that is a brilliant formula. Thank you so much for just kind of giving us the secret sauce and the gold right there. Let's back up. Talk about Ursula's relaunch. And let's go from there.

[07:02] Ursula Mentjes: Sure, absolutely.

[07:03] Joel: What do you think?

[07:04] Ursula Mentjes: So are you ready? Well, my husband and I lived in California for a long time, but we kept getting these nudges, and this kind of push that we should move back to Minnesota, which is where I'm from. And his family is here, and our parents were getting older, and all these things are happening. But we just didn't do it. And the universe will keep telling you, and then they'll get louder.

[07:25] Ursula Mentjes: And so we survived sort of. We survived the great recession, as we like to call it in California. And we owned a lot of real estate. And so, I can just share with you, we lost I would say, millions.

[chuckle]

[07:37] Ursula Mentjes: And so did a lot of our friends. And we know people who lost millions in real estate. They lost companies. They lost jobs. And one of the… I would say, one of the hardest times in our life together, and then certainly our married life together. We've been married over 12 years. We've been together almost 20 years now. And but we didn't get the hint. We didn't get… We kept hearing it, move back, and we didn't listen.

[07:54] Ursula Mentjes: So things were sort of falling apart, and we all know that when things seem to be falling apart, they're about ready to come back together if you allow it to happen. And then, surprise, surprise, in 2013 after being together almost 20 years, we found out I was pregnant with our son, Luca. And the nudge got louder. And my husband had a big shift in where he was working. He just said… He came home one day and said, “Ursula… ” He called me, “Urse.” He said, “Urse, you know, I think it's time.” And by that time, Luca was almost six months old.

08:23 Ursula Mentjes: And I said, “What do you mean, ‘I think it's time?'” He goes, “I think I'm going to open up the possibility for a position in Minnesota.” And I said, “Well, gosh. What's your timeline?” Because I had a huge limiting belief that I couldn't: One, have a family and have my business, so that was one, and two, that I couldn't live in Minnesota, and continue my operations in California. And then launch, relaunch, a business in Minnesota. And so there were like a lot of limiting beliefs. So then some…

[08:45] Joel: Okay can I stop you? Can I stop you right there and get some…

[08:47] Ursula Mentjes: Yeah.

[08:48] Joel: Okay. So first of all, talk about limiting beliefs, and talk about… Kind of define what they are. And the reason that I ask that Ursula, is because sometimes we… That's me with my hand up in the air, kind of fool myself into believing that, “Well, that's not the way I believe. That's the way it is, that's reality.” And so, I talk myself out of possibilities and opportunities. So can you just speak to limited beliefs, and then just jump right back in your story.

[09:22] Ursula Mentjes: Yeah. So I'm a certified coach through the NLP Institute of California. So I've spent a lot of time learning how to shift limiting belief. So I had the training. And I think of a limiting belief is simply as something we believe to be true. A thought that we think it's true, that we keep pointing to over and over again to show the evidence that it's not true, when in fact there might be, as you suggested, a whole host of other possibilities out there, we just haven't [09:46] ____ stamped yet.

[09:47] Joel: So what are some examples? Let's give real and practical with this. What are some limiting beliefs that you have heard? Standard ones.

[09:55] Ursula Mentjes: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I have to work hard to make a lot of money. And who am I to start my own business? I don't have any skills. There's no one in my family that comes from a business background. I didn't go to… I don't have the right education to start a business. I don't have the right certification. I'm too old to have a baby. So like, those are mine. Those are some of my limiting beliefs that just weren't true. But I kept finding all this evidence and say, “Yeah, it is true. Yeah, it is true.” And even… I think people who are coaches, and live in the self development world we can be our own biggest… We can be the own biggest offenders, so to speak of, of believing our limiting beliefs. Until we bring someone in to help us. And so as a coach, I hire a lot of coaches. I was hiring people at the time. I had coaches who were working with me who challenged those limiting belief.

[10:46] Ursula Mentjes: And I was still a little bit stuck because thinking about moving back, moving your family across the country, and just what all of that… What that would take and moving a business all these things. It just seemed so overwhelming especially with a six-month-old.

[10:57] Joel: Sure.

[10:57] Ursula Mentjes: I was still running my own business, and I was just overwhelmed. But when my husband came home, 'cause what happened is, I talk about this in, “One Great Goal” what happened is, it's like at first you'll hear the whispers, “Move back, move back. It will be okay.” And then you don't listen, and then all of a sudden, it's more like the whispers turn into kind of a scream. And the scream was my husband coming home and saying, “I'm gonna start looking for positions in Minnesota.”

[11:17] Ursula Mentjes: Well, in one week, my husband had an offer in Minneapolis. And it was a phenomenal offer that he just said, “I don't think we can say no to this.” Like when the universe answers, the door opened to us so wide, we had to say, “I think it's time.” So in one week, I had to relaunch. I had to let all of my clients know we were leaving. But not to worry because I was coming back. I would travel back. I would work with them over the phone. I would continue the sales camp there.

[11:44] Ursula Mentjes: And then, I already had some clients in Minneapolis 'cause I thought this might happen, so I let my Minneapolis clients know, “We're moving there. We're ready to open up business.” And the long and short of it is that once we got here, the miracles that happen, miracles like, having been beat up through the housing industry and all the real estate we lost we thought we'd never have a house again. We thought, “How are we gonna pay all of our investors back?” Within a year and a half, we were living in a house that we purchased, we had paid all of our investors back, we're completely out of debt.

[12:17] Joel: Wow.

[12:17] Ursula Mentjes: The miracles were amazing and I shared these stories with my clients 'cause my clients love to hear the tough stuff, the good stuff is like, “That's nice, but how did you get through the tough stuff?” And so here we are and it has been the best move of our life and of course we're close to family so Luca is surrounded by family.

[12:32] Joel: That's awesome. Pei's got her hand up over here, so I need to let her jump in. Go ahead.

[12:37] Pei: So Ursula, when you said the whisper you guys were still undecided and when that scream came was when your husband say, “I got a position.” So from that moment to, did you pull the trigger that day or did you…

[12:55] Ursula Mentjes: Yes.

[12:56] Pei: Okay, okay.

[12:57] Ursula Mentjes: Yes, so at that point because we were renting for about three years because we weren't sure what we were gonna do and we didn't wanna buy again, it was just not a good… Everything was up in the air. And so we went to the people who owned the property where we were living and we said, “Look we're looking to move like in a week, but what do we have to do to get out of our lease”, I said, you know. And they just said, “Well we're gonna put it on the market right now.” Within a week and a half, the place where we were living was already rented out, like everything opened up so fast. The hardest part was letting people know.

[13:33] Ursula Mentjes: I mean so many people were shocked, but they didn't realize we literally had been thinking about it for, I would say almost 10 years off and on, and off and on, and off and on because we did wanna be close to family, we just couldn't get past them when they believe that [13:47] ____ person that things would be okay and I could have my business and could have a family, and my husband's career has just been expanding here, it's been the best move we could have made. We were just talking about it last night and how shocked we are at how things turned out, and that we wish we would've listened sooner.

[14:05] Pei: So hindsight 20/20 obviously we all live and learn and when we get the next challenge, we hopefully apply what we learned from prior experiences. So how, I mean with people in relaunch, we're making decisions every single day, hopefully not every single day but decisions life, career, family. How would you consolidate what you have learned from that experience, and share with us how we identify the whisper and have the confidence to take that nudge and move forward sooner.

[14:52] Ursula Mentjes: Yeah, so I mean I've always been a sort of pretty good risk-taker, on a scale of one to 10, 10 being a super risk-taker, I'm probably a seven so I take calculated risks, but clearly we thought through too many things, it took us too long, so now when looking back and then looking forward, one of the things that I think about a lot is that, and someone said this it's probably a famous person I just can't think who said it at this moment, that you're not gonna regret the things you did for the most part, you're gonna regret the things that you didn't do.

[15:30] Ursula Mentjes: And most people when they're a 100 years old or if they live to be in their 90's, what they share with people is that it's not the things they did, it's the things they didn't do that they regret and so I think about that constantly. So two things, one I think, if there's an opportunity that comes up I think, “Is it in alignment with my one great goal in where I'm going?” And then number two, “If I don't do this, will I regret it someday?” Not if I do it, but if I don't do it, will I regret it? And that helps me stay on track and helps me stay focused.

[16:01] Pei: Great, great. Yeah, two great questions to ask ourselves.

[16:05] Joel: Let me ask you this question, Ursula while we're here, so we can be as practical as possible. How did your coaches challenge you with the different beliefs that you were carrying around like they were precious?

[chuckle]

[16:21] Ursula Mentjes: Right, so one coach in particular, they said, “Well, what's the market like in Minneapolis?” And I said, “I don't know.” And they said, “Well I think that would be important for you to find out,” And I've come to find out the Minneapolis market is the fourth most entrepreneurial in the country or at least it was in 2014, fourth most entrepreneurial right behind California. I thought, “Well, if that's not a sign, I don't know what is.” So they, you know… Practical questions like that like, “What are the pros and cons?” “What's not true about that when you do it?” That's one that I ask myself and I have my clients ask as well, what are three things that aren't true about that limiting belief? And when I started to look at it, I realized, “Well, I already had some clients in Minneapolis, I'd already tested it out, so I started to see that there were possibilities that I hadn't considered yet.”

[17:13] Joel: Okay, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

[17:18] Ursula Mentjes: Go ahead, that was the end.

[17:19] Joel: I was just gonna say so from a practical nature, if I'm telling myself, “Well, I'm just not an entrepreneur,” Or “I'm not the entrepreneurial type,” The challenging question to ask myself or to have someone ask me is, “Okay, well maybe, but what are three things that are untrue about what you just said?” I'm just kinda laying it out for us so that we can take some action with these wonderful tips you're giving us.

[17:45] Ursula Mentjes: Right and the next step beyond that, once you figure out what's not true, then just say, “Well, if I took on a new belief, what might that be?” So for me my new belief became, not only could I move back to Minnesota and have a business, I can have a flourishing business that not only now is in the Midwest, it's also in California, we've expanded into Colorado. I could have a business that was expansive and not limited in any way. And that's the new belief today.

[18:10] Joel: Okay. Fantastic. Fantastic. Very well put. Great story. I love these stories when you discover new things about yourself and your potential… Let me ask you this now. What did you learn about your value as you were developing these new beliefs and then literally moving yourself from point A to point B?

[18:35] Ursula Mentjes: Yeah. Great question. So, the funny thing that happened in terms of my value and how clients saw me was that once I moved back to Minnesota I became sort of scarce in California, so all of a sudden a whole lot of business showed up in California because I was gone. I was no longer as easily accessible, that was the perception. And so, business started to explode there and it just reminded me that I could be successful in that market, I was also well received in the Minneapolis market, why couldn't I be well received in any market? Like what was I making up about that? So, I had clients here and there, across the world actually, but not [19:12] ____ expansive in markets and so it just opened up the value that, “Yeah. Not only am I valuable on this market, but I can be in this market. I can be in any market”.

[19:20] Joel: Fantastic. Go ahead Pei. Do you have something that you wanted to add?

[19:23] Pei: Yeah. I know we are talking about geographic change and how that affects our business life, but the lessons here from Ursula really applies to any other area, and any other change. So, it's all about limiting beliefs. So, we all have them.

[chuckle]

[19:40] Joel: Absolutely. Absolutely. Really appreciate you kind of helping us break that down and just a value that you brought to us on the show today. Talking today with Ursula Mentjes, she has three books out you definitely need to get a hold of these, “Selling With Intention”, “Selling With Synchronicity” and the book that we talked about a little bit, “One Great Goal”. I know Pei has some other things that she wants to talk about. So, go right ahead.

[20:06] Pei: Right. The link to Ursula, to connect with her and link to the book. If you just go to joelboggess.com/386. You actually are gonna be able to read transcripts if you'd… For some of us we actually prefer to listen than read. And the link to her awesome book “One Great Goal” and we definitely gonna later share with you the great goal we come up with.

[20:32] Joel: Absolutely. Ursula this has been such a treat. I'm so glad we were able to get back together and get a show done together. And do me a favor, let's not let another two or two and a half years or however long it's been, pass by without you and I connecting and doing some shows and events together again.

[20:55] Ursula Mentjes: Definitely. Thank you. I thank you for the opportunity and congratulations again. I love the topic of ReLaunch and what you're doing, how you're impacting people. Congratulations about to both of you.

[21:04] Joel: Aww, thank you so much. It's so, so kind of you. Have a wonderful, wonderful rest of the day. Thanks for being here.

[21:08] Ursula Mentjes: Thank you.

Connect with Ursula on Twitter, Facebook and her website.

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Joel Boggess

Keynote Speaker | Corporate Trainer | Award-winning podcaster I help teams ignite their courage, take bolder steps, and get greater results. Together, we create possibilities that bring empowerment, meaning, and financial impact.

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